Been a Long Time

2013-10-08 22.45.11Since I posted here. I know. I am running like five blogs and then I have been swamped with school so I don’t have time, between the hella long commute back and forth to class, living my life, and programming to actually do anything else– I am exhausted everyday.

I got really, really sick just a few weeks ago and didn’t do much of anything. It took a very long time to stop spitting out stuff my lungs were full of. I hadn’t been sick like that in two years. It was a sign I was beating my body into the ground– I am getting older and cannot do half the stuff I did years ago. I am 36. I will be 37 next month. And while I am stronger than I have ever been and the fittest, even though I am still pretty damn fat, I have to take care of the bod in order to live longer and not just longer but healthier.

I went to the gym a week ago after a pretty long absence, like two months. I started lifting and immediately thought “Wtf? I actually like this?” After getting into it a bit I decided I did like it but I was tired and just not rested.

I went yesterday and yep. In the zone. I had a short workout where I just worked tris and bis but I feel it today. And I know that I am back, for real this time.

I decided to withdraw this semester or at least get incompletes. I don’t need this semester unless I don’t get into Pitt– I really didn’t need to go this semester but wanted the structure to my day. But boy has it been a struggle.

Part of my want to get back to it is this guy on Facebook named Eric Russell. He shares his weight loss journey and is completely and utterly honest about his successes and failures. He went from around 500 lbs to 237. But just recently he gained 80 of it back and while defeated and still depressed about it has gotten up and dusted himself off. His picture of muesli and blueberries reminded me how much I love a healthy lifestyle and that I needed to get back in the gym.I stocked up on meat when I had extra cash and will be going to the store tomorrow so I can get other healthy things and there will be no excuse not to eat healthy.

This is a brief post and I plan to get back into blogging here. It’s important to know that this weight loss journey is not linear, by any means, and that failures are bound to happen. Only the resilient will survive.


Faves and Raves and Faves and…Fads.

Shot out to The CultCast for the inspiration for this post title.

So I post a lot about my journey on here BUT! Today, today I am going to give a shout to some advice, tips, all fitness, mostly lifting but worth the read anyway.

The one thing that might not agree with the legions of WordPress fitness bloggers is my stance on Paleo. I am not a fan and I lay out two arguments, both opposing one another, after I give my take on this diet, which frankly, I’m going to call a fad, because that’s what it is. But after I link to the two articles with opposing viewpoints, I will let you make up your own mind.

So first FAVES!

Weightlifting for women.

This link lists some benefits for gals to pick things up and put them down. Doesn’t specify how heavy but LIFT DAT HEAVY SHIT ladies. The heavier the weight, the quicker you…tone (UGH). Which brings me to my next article.

4 Reasons the Word “Tone” Needs to Die

All muscles have tone so stop it. If you want to get “toned” that means you want to get muscular. Can’t have one without the other. And no, you won’t look like the woman in the first photo, not necessarily. But adding muscle to your body benefits your nakedness and your metabolism. So get on it, gals.

Get Dat Ass

I used to get made fun of by my mom for having a high round ass back when I was 9. Okay so I was also 5’6 and fit (I never really looked my age) so stop freaking out. But mom always prided herself on her huge misshapen ass. But if I could have only foreseen what the movement is now. I wouldn’t have felt like an idiot.

So squat. Deadlift. Hip thrust. Do it. Get that bubble butt you know you want. I am running out of time to wear certain things as I get older so you can bet I am going to do more and more of this in the very near future.

Show Up Ready for the Gun Show

Michelle Obama has guns. Why can’t you? And I don’t mean bodybuilder guns but nice, shapely arms. And STRONG. Yesssssss.



Is it a fad? Personally, I believe so, though swarms of people swear by it. There are arguments that say cavemen (cave-people?) didn’t survive nearly as long as we do, with our processed food and McDonald’s living. Some paleo activists refute this with they were healthier and that life was grand back then but the science just isn’t there. It seems very romantic, to live the way Paleolithic man did, in some evolutionary haven free of disease but as we know very little, and the little we do know shows it was anything but paradise. I don’t think there is anything wrong with eating a balanced diet. And eating real food is always a good goal, which is what Paleo proponents say is their goal but they shroud it in unscientific romanticism.

I got a good sense of what the diet is about by reading this blog. Still, I need to do more research. But the research I’ve done leads me to believe this isn’t the ideal diet everyone makes it out to be.

Do you do Paleo? What do you like about it? How would you refute the article linked here?


Xmas Fatness


I feel like a tub of lard floating in a pool of subcutaneous fat. Seriously a really bad feeling compounded by the fact that my stretchy jeans, that I never dry, shrunk and I’ve gained a few pounds and can’t wear them. It makes you feel like a big fucking turd but you get up and do the damn thing.

I’ve eaten like shit for two weeks— pizza is the cheapest thing going when you don’t have a lot of cash. It sustains for a couple days but it’s shit and you know this.

I’ll be getting paid this week and more than I did last time I went shopping so I plan on going to the local Giant Eagle for meat and Trader Joe’s for the good stuff. Until then I feel like a turd wrapped in fat.


I’m back!


Just needed a break during finals. My whole college career hinged on one class and I made it. Now I can move onto the University.

So now the gym is on my mind and I’m going back tomorrow. Let’s get it.


3 am. Yep. No sleep here!

But soon. And as far as strength gain Saturday? I was sick a while and didn’t even lift until Thursday. But it was an incredible session, I’m telling you. My biceps and triceps were sore for two days, something I’m proud of and that was lacking I’m my time at the new gym. Fatigue them muscles, kittens. That’s how you get ass for days and guns that would make Michelle Obama bow down in front of your greatness.


I look forward to working out today. I went out to Pittsburgh’s 54th Annual Light Up Night, a sort of kickoff of the holiday season, a time when people forget how to drive and take selfies all over the streets of downtown and fireworks! I went Friday and on the bus I thought, “I should have went to the gym”. I can’t even socialize without thinking about lifting. I guess I’m finally about that life? Hope so.


The Steelers don’t play today so the gym won’t have the game on (obviously) so I plan on going harder than last time.


Are you working out today? What are working on? Thinking of doing legs. We shall see.

Schwarzenegger Workout

…or not. But I was watching Pumping Iron one restless night at 3 am on Netflix. I had been struggling with not going hard enough at the gym— I was hardly ever sore after a workout. It bothered me. I knew I was capable of destroying my muscles time in and time out but it wasn’t happening in the new gym.


So my friend let me know Pumping Iron was on Netflix and I decided to watch it at 3 am. It was okay— cheese from the 70s but Arnold. His cockiness and subsequent 7th (?) Mr. Olympia made me perk up and listen. He said pushing through the pain is when the growth occurs, when strength gains grow, and what separates losers from champions.


So today, after being sick for a week and a half I went to the gym. I worked through pain like you wouldn’t believe, pushing each rep, feeling like I was about to pass out. It was phenomenal. Feeling all the blood rush to your head while you’re pushing down 120 lbs on the cable machine for your triceps is addicting. My arms are Jelly. But man what a workout. Hope to be sore tomorrow. I hope I made some gains!



I’ve been allergy-sick all week. Have been to the gym once, once!! But ran across the street feeling lighter than ever and pretty badass.

Keeping my eating in check but you guys…no more brown sugar pop tarts. They were recommended to me as a quick recovery snack because believe it or not they have quite a bit of protein and a great carb-to-protein ratio. But I eat them whenever and they are really caloric. So no more, even though I could eat them hot for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.


Really digging the iOS Health app, a central place to get a glimpse of all your stats.





Still have some work to do but keeping calories in check but could work on sugar and fat. Laying off the pop tarts…just after the last few here…yum. 😉

Took some pictures

And I’m still mega fat but it is what it is. My measurements are shrinking but my hips are growing which doesn’t make sense.


I look at the pictures and think, “when is that shit going to melt? When will I have a funeral for my fat?” My mother, as always, gave me some sage advice: “took you how long to put that weight on?” Point taken.


But I can’t see the shrinkage. I’d like to but can’t. Don’t know how to feel about it but I know I can get smaller. I’ve done it before. I’m not a patient grasshopper, but I’m trying…


Life is Getting to Be Amazing…

2014-10-15 23.35.17My story is long and involved. I really have been through a lot and don’t care to share all of it in this post. I suffered a lot as a kid, teen, and twenty-something. I am now 36 and life is picking up. I got a late start. I was the walking dead for a long time. I was the academic golden child that was expected to go to college right out of high school. Long story short, that shit didn’t happen kids. Way to gone to do it, and I regret it every day I live.

But now I’ve got that chance. I’ve been at a community college for a very long time and now, with this last semester, I have a chance at a BSIS, something I thought about when my name graced honor rolls, and highest GPA in my class awards were sitting on my desk. I am 36, and if my grades hold up for this semester, I will be a Pitt Panther.IMG_2075

All of this, all of these changes, my life going from great, to extremely painful, to painful and mediocre, to ascending…I don’t know how to handle it all. When I found out my grade in college algebra, all I wanted to do was run around the block or go to the gym. I was ecstatic and all that anxiety and happiness just waiting to be released. That was yesterday. I didn’t get there yesterday but I did today and WHOA!! I was locked in and focused, but not after a night of extreme anxiety and nervousness. Seriously, nighttime anxiety kinda feels like this:2014-10-11 18.38.07

I have an anxiety disorder now, amongst other things and the gym helps me shed those weird, foggy, electric vibes I get after good news anymore. I was so foggy last night, and electric and not feeling well. I wished I had gone to the gym! But I went today and I will get tired tonight and all will be well.

I am getting stronger and thinner, my life taking a turn for the stratosphere. Yeah. 😀

2014-09-10 13.01.25

I’m Hitting My Stride


The picture says it all.

I’ve exercised like a fiend lately. I’ve rested. I’ve eaten well. I’ve expanded my mind.

The rewards have come, too. 12.6 lbs shredded in a little over three weeks. I’m now 337 lbs, 38 lbs away from the 2s. A milestone that I have not seen in 20 years, since I was a teenager. I’m ecstatic. I’m nervous. I know a plateau’ll come some time. And I remember what happened when I started gaining weight after losing 140 lbs, I just wanted to quit. And I did.

What’s different now? Gym is so close to me and the repeated denial of getting my BS because of circumstances beyond my control and being burnt out have lent me a grittiness and determination to never quit.


I’m going to get to 190 lbs. I’m going to get there with fight and effort. This is me now


See me in two years. 😉